“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends come inside, come inside!”
Lots of music references this week as it is sunny (well it was) and listening to tunes is fab! You can play along and spot the songs/artists. The picture on the front of today’s post is of Meldon Dam in Devon. An adventure for my scooter and I. More in just a moment.Well that’s Easter all over. Thank God, pardon the pun! Boy, wasn’t it a long holiday period? I decided to save a onein400 post until now as too many of you were away enjoying various holidays. So now you are back to daily drudgery, my blog is here. So let me entertain you! Those of you who published too many photos of the fact that you were 12,000 miles away are probably coming home to burgled houses!
Last week we spent time away in Devon staying in a small converted cow shed whilst our bathroom was being destroyed/rebuilt! We highly recommend Webber Hill Farm Cottages. Thank you Nicky for your welcome. My requirements for a holiday let are changing, but for now a cottage still worked very well.
We chose a single level barn in this totally quiet part of the country. Before travelling I packed my copy of an old “Days Out” guide by Lord Bragg which I found on our bookshelf.
As we were making the final preparations to travel, to our absolute delight, we found out that although we were staying in a country cottage, there was a Waitrose within 2 miles! The holiday was destined to be great already!
But before leaving civilisation to venture to the English west coast, there were jobs to finish off here at home. First, a visit to the Dentist, postponed due to my rather inconvenient heart bypass.
My dentist has, how can I put it politely, stayed traditional in his ways and buildings? “Hey did you happen to see the most inaccessible building in the world” Yes it is quite dire. First, it is upstairs, no lift and the steepest steps in the land. Fortunately, it does have rails on both sides, and is narrow. So Jean follows me up, ready to block my fall, and hauls my rollator up. Once on the first floor, the surface is like walking on a ship on the high seas (ie not flat). Anyway, after successfully navigating the arrival I had a very nice visit. Despite not having been for over 9 months, the sheer stress of life recently has obviously simply vibrated the tartar off of my teeth!
We had a small issue with our Bank, for which I won’t go into detail, but let me just say it got us quite angry. Well, by quite angry I am meaning f****** steaming! On telling Lord Bragg all about it he invited me to join his newly created financial organisation, Bragg’s Bank. He said “Boy, have I got something for you!?”
He briefed me on a technology advance that his team has introduced. Their new Identification (ID) system! With MND my voice is no good, so internet banking is great. However, for the in-branch visits, Bragg’s Bank now operates this remarkable and innovative security option…
Yes Fist ID! You just walk into the branch and punch the awaiting rep (who is wearing special facial sensors) and you are instantly identified! It also detects from the severity of your punch, the urgency of your inquiry.
So I tried it for myself!
At a local branch, I entered at some speed on my scooter, navigating the steps (a bit more thought there needed) and then accelerated into the foyer. Mary, the in-house Fist ID Operative was waiting. By the time I arrived at her desk I was doing some 3 mph. My resulting punch, a slow but purposeful left hook was planted on her rosy, but yet clean and somewhat reassuringly kind complexion. After stemming the blood flow, Mary commented….
“Arhh it’s Mr Millard, isn’t it? Welcome to Bragg’s Bank. I can tell it’s urgent, please come through.”
After discussing my requirements with a Bragg’s Bank rep, I left waving goodbye to Mary who was just registering yet another FistID client! Lord Bragg has numerous openings in branches all over the country for young enthusiastic and visionary people wishing to work in his security department.
Bragg banking innovation! What a guy! An identification, complaints system and “I feel good” solution all wrapped up together in one neat package.
So after leaving our house in the builders capable hands we set off for Devon.
We had a great time in Devon, despite 1 mile of road appearing to be 20 Miles! It must be the hills (the ups and the downs). Reminds me of trying to explain when I used to travel between home and Warwick, why the return journey was 5 miles longer! My theory was a long Motorway left sweep. Well that’s my excuse for always taking the racing line on that journey, just like a streak of lightning.
Luckily we took our patented BraggNav™️ system with us. It has special features that no other sat nav has that helps with routes in the country. It has the following handy options…
I used my scooter a lot whilst in Devon, but because of the inclines in places a bit of planning was always necessary. During our stay I was asked to join the Tavistock Wheelchair Accessibility Test team. They are a group dedicated to exposing areas which cause potential hazards or perhaps even death to disabled people if they even attempt to visit! Here I am in training, and they gave me a nice embroidered Team jacket free of charge! What a great bunch of guys!
I did, however, say no to testing the High Street in Clovelly. I remember visiting there when I was fit and young, and watching fully able people tripping and tumbling past me all the way down the hill as they chewed on a bit of local fudge!
Clovelly, Devon By Olaf Tausch [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
I did have one topple during the week. Although pretty au fait with the capability of my Travelscoot, I went a little bit silly when I thought I could bump up a small ledge between two vehicles in a car park. Doing so, I then toppled over to my right. Not into the lap of a big bosomed lady with a dutch accent, but into a Bridgestone Van tyre! My thanks go to the passers-by who helped us get me back onto my scooter.
On the way to another North Devon highlight, Croyde bay, we came across one of Lord Bragg’s Beach hotels.
What a guy. He really has taken this accessibility responsibility seriously. His safety record on getting residents to their bedrooms is second to none, quoting an 80% bruise-less arrival.
On our return our builders were surprised to know that we knew exactly when power was turned off in the house. As a techie, I do have monitors which tell me this and when fridges go off. You should have seen their faces when I said we had some of Lord Bragg’s specialist security cameras including the super discreet KnickerDrawCAM!!
Ok readers, it’s summer! The sun is shining and the time is right for….
Rollating in the Street!
Hopefully I will be returning to a regular Friday slot next week. See yah readers.