It is 1952 and the Winter Olympics are being hosted by Norway. Otto Bragg is a member of the crack Norwegian unique 5 man bobsleigh team. Officially a 4 man sport, Otto is gaining publicity for his vodka distillery by serving drinks to the team during the sleigh run. Apart from a couple of spectators being hit by a 1 litre bottle of spirit at 80 mph, his stunt was successful. On being released from a short jail sentence, Otto announced his intention to start a bobsleigh team, to be known as Team Bragg. Sadly, Otto Bragg was killed by a tram in Oslo in 1956 before he could bring his dream to fruition.
62 years later, Lord Bragg has finally realised his little known relative’s dream as he prepares a team for the Winter Olympics 2018! He had recently unearthed plans written by Otto that were “tidied” away by his wife, Heidi, in a place never to be found! Apparently Otto had been so infuriated by her tidying up and effectively losing his schemings that he ran out of their apartment and decided to argue with the number 22 tram! The rest is history. Well, that was until a barmy hot summer’s day in 2015 when Lord Bragg was visiting “da ice shed”, Otto’s home, and found the defrosted plans in the garden, behind the greenhouse, behind a shovel, in a bag! Damm Tidy Heidi!
Lord Bragg wanted to be faithful to Otto’s plans, and as it happened a stroke of luck occurred 4 weeks ago right now in 2018. Otto’s rather saucy plan was to have scantily clad ice maidens standing by each of team Bragg’s bobsleighs before the run. Noticing that suddenly Grid girls and walk on girls had become unemployed in January 2018 due to policies not fully understood by Lord Bragg, he set about enticing some of the ladies into Team Bragg. Of course, these ladies needed to be hardy as there would be a chill in the air in South Korea. After intensive acclimatisation, carried out in the local Marks and Spencer’s food halls, applicants were selected depending on how long they could survive shopping without a fleece. Lord Bragg finally reduced (literally) his selection down to 4 surviving ladies. All were selected to travel to the Olympics.
However, during practice for the event, and a one hour delay because of high winds, Team Bragg was forced to race without the presence of the Ice Maidens due to all 4 developing severe “Frost Nipple”. Fortunately Lord Bragg had packed plenty of his speciality plasters and the ladies were sent home after defrosting. You can meet the crew travelling around frozen food stores in the UK touring in March. They would like to thank Lord Bragg for their new found employment saying “It’s people like Lord Bragg who think the unthinkable that will take the country forward“. What a guy!
Back to reality, Lee!
I did promise my latest MND research update. Apologies all, it’s not ready yet. It will arrive soon! I am not 100% happy with the content.
It is, of course, the Winter Olympics and the world is suddenly enthralled by sports most people had no knowledge of, including speed skating. It is a marvel to me that no limbs are severed during this sport! There will be a completely unknown star, hopefully British, who emerges with a gold medal. He/she will go on in 2019 to win the sports personality of the year, before retiring to commentate for a remote local radio station.
I used to love skiing, which I could probably attempt now, but only with a lot of assistance! The results would be almost certainly be Laurel and Hardy!! I do, however, have plenty of stories of near skiing accidents and escapades back in my Franz Klammer days!
A most dramatic event was at the top of a mountain, slightly off-piste, where I stumbled across things like these, ie apparently abandoned slalom poles.
Skiing at high-speed (well I thought it was fast), I decided to venture over to the area and dive through the poles. About half way through, a pro-skier in ultimate ski gear shot past me at a really high-speed!! I had strayed into the local ski team practice session! I left sharpish and went to get a crepe for lunch! “Hey guys, you won’t believe what I just did?! yes I was a real twat!”
Here in the UK, Winter is going on a bit too long, although the end is near. Lord Bragg has been campaigning for Brexit saying that if we get out of Europe we can negotiate much better weather deals! What a guy! I’d vote for that!!
We are finally getting around to redesigning our bathroom. Crucially, as mentioned in previous posts we have no desire to make it look like a hospital. We are retaining a bath but adding a separate shower. I am determined to get into a bath for as long as physically possible. A bath is so much better than a shower.
I have spoken in my blogs about this many times before. I do refuse to bow to progressive disability until absolutely necessary. Now, this is not everyone’s approach and I respect that.
What else has been going on during the ice age that we have now had for a few weeks?
I have been working with the Motor Neurone Disease Association (MNDA) as part of an Awareness Raising Interest Group on some ideas/strategy for raising awareness of MND. Formed by the MNDA at the end of last year, it is a timely review of approaches including TV, Social Media, messaging, audiences etc. No organisation can remain static and working with people living with MND and others whose lives are affected is vital. My personal focus is how to use appropriate media channels along with suitable, but bold, messages to drive public awareness.
But the most momentous event (Olympian for me) this week was getting out on my recumbent trike on a real road for the first time in 10 weeks. Apprehensive at first, I really enjoyed my short first ride. My dream had come true and I can still cycle.
I am the leader of the 20mph enforcement team in our village. Our mission is to rid the village of bad drivers through polite enforcement. Or if that fails, peddling slowly and stopping every 50 yards to talk to a villager about the weather whilst blocking the road! Direct action!
And for those of you worried about my heart, we now have a defibrillator installed in our village!!
Kindly donated by Lord Bragg, the “pay per zap” device will accept £1 coins only. What a guy!
But seriously, we do have a defibrillator attached to the Co-op! Excitement is mounting to see who the first user (victim) is! It has my name on it guys!!!
Same time next week readers! Have fun.
Finally, let’s salute Otto!
What a guy!