The longest week of the year!!!

Welcome to the end of British Summer Time (BST). What have you done with your extra hour!!? You could have used it anywhere. We spent our free hour in a traffic jam! How cunning of us!?

We have now entered the deep, dark, damp and frightening early nights………….

Ok Lee, enough of that scare us completely senseless rubbish. What has the last week and one hour brought for onein400?

It’s been a typical week here, guys. From the mundane to the silly to the outstanding! It’s what every week should be like. We all need that mix in life. At the weekend, I was organising my pill boxes after unexpectedly acquiring 2 new magic white tablets to take daily! I quite like this funky pill-box! Single removable sections for each day of the week.

Just trying to add my other daily prescription into the trays……..

Darn, the chocolate digestives will not fit in!   Note to designers……..

These little boxes reminded me that I used to own underpants with days of the week marked on them. Monday to Sunday and a blank pair (for use on any day)!

Jean and I have had a great week after my little adventure in the cardiac ward recently.

Jean’s, cousin, Sheila came to stay. Sheila had a very long journey to get to us, but fortunately she was able to make use of Lord Bragg’s new innovative express motorway services.

What a guy!

It’s another great service designed for the disabled and people in a rush frame of mind. He must have overheard me muttering just how far you have to walk at services to spend a penny! Lord Lee has pointed out though, that the Flame Grilled Express BBQ stall he had proposed to set up alongside each fuel station petrol pump has had to be dropped following a nasty singe-ing incident near Milton Keynes during a trial. He points out that if you do wear such flimsy clothing whilst filling your tank what do you expect!?

Jean, Sheila and I spent a lovely day in rainy Brighton, and my Travelscoot made the event just like old days. We went everywhere!

View from my scooter in the great Beyond Retro store. It’s worth a visit if you are ever in Brighton.

Mid week, I received a phone call from my doctor who wanted me to have a lung test. So on Wednesday, Jean and I popped along to the hospital in our typically ruthlessly efficient style!

Parking is always fun with a blue badge as there is always more demand than supply in hospital car parks! I wonder why that is?!

We have a ritual as we park to help ensure success:

First I put my

Sh**, it’s sh** being alive” face on….

I joke but take a look at people parking in disabled spots the next time you are out! We all do it!

Then I stagger out of the car clinging to the car grab rails as if I am traversing a steep cliff edge. This normally ensures that unless one of the other competitors for the space has a severed head I generally get preferential treatment in claiming the spot in the game of disabled top trumps!

Anyway, we settled down to wait the short time for my appointment. A lovely young man introduced himself saying he would be my torturer today. We walked into his lair, past his mountain bike (that’s a good sign, he keeps fit). Mind you it did appear to have a flat tyre. He then proceeded to ask me to wear what can only be described as a “Scuba” breathing pipe connected to his wonderous measuring machine. For about 5 minutes I was subjected to demanding deep breaths and exhalations, with comments like…

Just that bit more Lee. Come on there is a bit more deep in your lungs to exhale!“

On a serious note, the process that you go through on a full spirometry machine is actually a great breathing technique. I was pleasantly surprised that I was still 120% of normal FVC. Of course this doesn’t tell the full story, but it is still very reassuring.

Oh, the breathing technique! I forgot. Yes, deep breaths, with long full expiration, at least 3 times aiming to empty the lungs right to the bottom!

I am sure some air from 2003 came out along with these words

Yes, Arsenal we are Premiership Champions!!”

But seriously, afterwards I felt great, and alive. So yes I have a new technique to add to my daily yoga exercises in the morning.

So off we went, Jean pointing out that someone had repaired and inflated the operative’s mountain bike tyre!! What a nice thought, by a kind well-wisher! I wonder who that was? I asked Jean for a mint, as I did have a rather nasty rubbery taste in my mouth!

Last Tuesday, I was invited to be a guest speaker at the South East MND Network Conference, presenting on Voice Banking. I have just recently updated my step by step guide to Voice Banking if you would like to get more detail. Thanks to Jane Giles, for the invite and your warm welcome.

On our journey I was shocked to see this advert for Lord Bragg as a keynote speaker in Maidstone, which was where we were going!!! I really hoped he wasn’t at same place!!

Unfortunately, the utter scoundrel was, and presented just before I was on! He had to make a rather speedy exit after really upsetting the audience. Lord Lee, does unfortunately come from the days when it was perfectly normal to comment on how well dressed the ladies were. I was left to calm the smouldering and tinderbox situation. After the administration of sedatives to some delegates and paramedic treatment of one particularly distressed soul, I was able to continue…….

As soon as the tension had levelled, I gave a presentation giving my perspective on voice banking to healthcare professionals who spend their dedicated hours working with people living with MND. I thank you all.

As the attendees had paid £60 each to be exposed to my musings, I thought I’d better be good! My opening comment was that £60 is about 5 times what I actually paid to see the first Farewell Tour of the Rolling Stones in 1982!

Just a comment about the photos above. They almost make me look fully mobile. However, without that lectern I would be a quivering mass of late middle age man on the floor. There was also a midget (who we met in the bar the night before) in the stand holding me up and passing me refreshments!

If you want to see my presentation slides, they are here. Unfortunately there is no video/sound recording as Jennifer, the audio-visual specialist, was giving a statement to the police regarding Lord Lee’s comments and she was a little bit tipsy after a medicinal pint of brandy!

Same time next week readers, and in the words of the legendary John Lennon and Paul McCartney:

Ain’t got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week

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