Friday 13th – This time it’s cordless!!

Friday 13th!! You best be frightened! Take no risks! A day of fear, and one man is on a mission to rid the world of the unbelievers! It was so scary yesterday that I didn’t post! There were other reasons, but why let these get in the way of a good story?

Well readers, the evil Freddy Bragg might be in your area right now!

On a serious note, although I struggle to believe it, …… hold on….no I do; over $800m is lost in business on a typical Friday 13th due to superstition and fear! Yes, really!

In the meantime, back here in onein400 land, Lord Bragg’s lost great grandson, Freddy Bragg, has been helping with a mini project in our kitchen. Jean wanted all our kitchen cupboard doors knobs changing, to reflect a “Shabby Chic” style. We code-named the project:

Project knob’

Freddy “cordless” Bragg has been so helpful, or so it appears. He helped me acquire a new cordless drill, one that Jean can use, and wow what a great piece of kit. Makes my old corded one look ridiculous.

Watch out for Freddy and his countersinkinghe is simply terrifying. This man is a lunatic deranged wood worker who flips when he sees bad work, or the wrong tool used! It just angers him!! Something sets off a trigger in his brain! I can really empathise with him as I do like things done just right!

Actually, power drills remind me of an old joke I once heard that touches on the “so called” differences between the sensitivities of the human sexes!

A couple, Anne and Peter were having dinner with their friends Julie and Dave. After a lovely evening, Anne and Peter were driving home, when Anne commented:

“Julie and Dave are really not happy. Julie was in tears when I spoke to her privately after dessert in the drawing room”

Peter then exclaimed:

”Really? All I found out was that Dave had a new drill?!”

Last week we went to the theatre again. We are currently booked to see all the plays of the Norman Conquest trilogy by Alan Ayckbourn. They are most excellent.

As usual, trip planning was vital. The car park at Chichester Featival Theatre is about 200 yards from the doors, but I still used my rollator. All the disabled spots were taken, so we had to park a little further away. I must admit when such a situation occurs I do stagger past the cars parked in the disabled spots muttering

I do hope you are really disabled, look at what you have made me do!

It was quite tough, and with the frantic 80 year olds over taking me, it took a few minutes to get in: I have removed the responses from one aggressive lady in this exchange of words!!

“Stop hassling me, grandma. I am going as fast I can!”

“What did you say?”

“Go on then if you think you are hard enough!”

“Put away your sandwich box and I’ll show you who’s boss!”

After this really unnecessary, and potentially extremely violent situation, we had to collect our tickets up from the box office. Both tellers were busy with clients, and readers you know that

Why the **** are you taking so long?” feeling we all get from time to time?

Both queues were static, with about 20 minutes to curtains up!

Once at the front I quickly quoted my name. The tickets were printed and we swiftly moved away, showing that even I can be quicker than some slow coaches! At least MND typically doesn’t affect the cognitive processes.

I managed to make it a really civilised evening, acquiring a box of Maltesers just before!!! Yes Maltesers, I rule!

I offered two lovely German ladies, next to us, some of my maltesers,

U ttwu twonk one of twese?

They declined, and spookily didn’t return after the interval! Great, I had scared them off, more space for me! Perhaps Freddy Bragg got them?  I did see some real shoddy handy-work in the foyer and what was that deafening scream!? There was a room/door numbered 10 and the number 1 had fallen off! Oooohh…the mystery deepened…………..read on, if you dare, to end of the post!!!

We had a massive Bumblebee  in the house the other day (I know odd for October!). I ran around, well slumped around screaming telling Jean to get rid of it. It was gone, phew!!

Here’s a fact for you. The longest period between any two consecutive Friday 13ths is 14 months, and the shortest 1 month. Only a short wait until the next one……

Same time next week readers.

Oh and the room numbered 10 and the German ladies disappearance? You would like to know more, yes???

In Germany a lot of toilets have the door number 0 or 00. This allegedly is due to the historical nature of some German hotels in medieval days not having toilets in each room. As a consequence, as rooms were numbered from 1, the single toilet each floor was numbered 0 or 00. My German friends can comment on whether this is fable or true.

Now perhaps that’s where the ladies disappeared to…. “Freddy NO, you didn’t? The loose door number “1” triggered him!!

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One Comment

  1. Gill Atkinson says:

    Love your blogs and your humour Lee, they make make me laugh xx

    Liked by 1 person

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