Dummy run!

on

Onein400 here!

What has been going on in the dark and often mysterious world of onein400?

Last Wednesday I met up with yet another person living with MND, and diagnosed in the last year, Stuart. We decided to rendezvous at Goodwood, and we took both allocated disabled parking spots!

Stuart, like myself, is using a walking stick and we looked like the forward committee team sent ahead to plan a Forrest Gump convention! Stuart, like myself, has bought a trike. Great to meet you, Stuart! See you very soon. Success these days is measured on getting somewhere and returning without damage, either to ourselves or the destination! We achieved it that day, Stuart!

Jean and I try to keep a 100% normal life with regards to social and fun events. So we are both always mindful of any potential gaps. Just the other day, for example, Jean commented that we haven’t been to the theatre for a while, and had, by chance, noticed that an Alan Bennett work was being performed at our local theatre in Chichester. So, in my role as social secretary, I decided to investigate.

This is now how I research/book such an event…

Jumping nimbly onto their website I found I had to call or email if there were any physical access issues. Using the phone for detailed conversation is not my preferred communication method any more because of my voice speed. However, with just one short email and all within the hour our booking was taken care of! Seats with no steps, and at a discount! That blue badge advantage strikes again! I still had to call to pay, but that was simple. All so slick and paid in the blink of eye with my credit card. I was fully expecting these words from Pamela Stephenson in the American Express parody sketch taken from the 1980’s series Not the nine o’clock news. Silly me, this was only a phone call!

So all we have to do on the night is turn up and pick up Lord Bragg’s handy – “Essential disability guide on how to annoy and hinder your fellow members of the audience as they enter the theatre” and all should be hunky dory! I will report back next week on the play!!!!

One can’t help but notice politics these past two weeks. Jean and I voted at our UK local elections in the village church hall and like, everything else, I had to plan how to actually cast my vote.

But of course, I have my trike! Brilliant! So, early morning we embarked on our General Election Dummy Run accompanied by our dogs. I sped the trike into the disabled parking spot. The cone didn’t stand a chance. Parked! (Please note cone was damaged before I arrived. I is innocent).

After making it in, I was all voted up. Interestingly, I was then told that I will be able to ride my trike actually right into the voting area on June 8th for the General Election! Super! I will be the coolest voter in the village. Watch out for me on the day as I will take no prisoners if you don’t indicate! I have enough trouble removing foliage from wheels, let alone small children or rather flimsy skirts!

I do like politics along with the human sensibilities and personalities that go with it. Mind you, our politicians are quite tame compared to our French friends who have just elected their new President. I love the French way of life with their laissez faire, c’est la vie, and plus ça change. Their beautiful language so demonstrates their personality! We British can learn a lot from their approach to life.

Mind you they do love a good riot!

What are we rioting over Jean-Pierre Bragg?

Louis, there are no almond croissants in the patisserie!

Sacré bleu, let me get my water cannon! Viva la France!

So after a bit of fuss, our French friends elected their new leader.

Jean and I went back to Goodwood on Saturday, Jean for yoga, and me for a coffee, lunch and to sneer at parents with badly behaved children! Jean now escorts me to the Cafe, and I then chill, have a drink and an egg sandwich! Mind you on this visit we were presented with a small challenge! Normally, the Onein400 disabled parking spots are always free. However, this time they were taped off along with 3 adjacent spaces either side! What was going on!? We managed to find a space, that was just under lethal danger walking distance and entered.

However, angered by the apparent disabled discrimination I decided to write an email of some sternness over my coffee!! Luckily I had Lord Bragg’s “Convert’O’Rant+” software that allows you to translate a stern email, written in passion, into a diplomatic, professional, high quality sales type letter! You may remember this software from my Being lead down the Garden path post.

I typed away, and then processed it through Convert’O’Rant+ and this wonderful prose was produced…

Good morning,

What a lovely day. The sun is shining and the club looks excellent.

I thought I’d just drop you a short email regarding the car parking at the club this morning.

It appears that the disabled spots were taped off, by mistake, outside the entrance. We were able to find a suitable close space, “phew!” However, I just wanted to bring this to your attention before the height of the day crowds.

Many thanks

very best wishes

Lee Millard

Wow what software, considering that my email input into the tool was this rather abrupt note….

Dear Management (if you can call yourselves that!?),

What gormless idiot decided to use their last few remaining brain cells to make the decision to fence off the disabled parking spaces this morning?

I am outraged.

Have a good day (mine has started off shit)

Lee Millard

Lord Bragg, bringing you the services and tools vital for modern life!

Finally, last week there has been some interesting news regarding a new drug that has been approved for MND/ALS in the USA. I will be giving my view in my latest Research opinion update coming in a day or so!

Hopefully I will return to my normal Friday blog publishing soon. These Bank Holidays really mess with my schedule!

See you soon readers!

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