I spy with my little eye!

A slight issue with this week’s post, everyone.  With all the worry about fake news in the press, my post has only gone and been leaked early! As you know, my blog is normally stringently vetted by my wife, Jean. What does this mean to you, my loyal readers? You rely on genuine information. Well, today it may contain unintended, unauthorised or unverified content. So some of my post may not be true! Sorry to inflict this on you readers, just beware.

It’s been Jean’s first week back at school following the Winter break, and I am home alone again! However, we managed to venture out a bit, I on my trike alone and together to a couple of shops.

On the continuing subject of the house adaptations, Jean and I visited a bathroom centre from which we had received a quote for installation. We looked at some items in close detail.

I really did feel like Inspector Clouseau from the Pink Panther films, hobbling around the centre, with the potential to cause chaos!

My walking (if you can still call it that) is a very precise, almost pre-planned, phone ahead event! A showroom full of demo bathroom setups, with perhaps not quite solid fixed fittings is a disaster zone waiting to be created. I walk looking out for strategic holding points.

Arhh that tap looks good

Phew! Now that sturdy looking and attractive cabinet?

No!! No! No! – it has a pile of unsecured leaflets on top of it it! What idiot left those there!”

Now let me just take a peek in this bath……

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JEAN!!! Coo-ee, I am here, can you just give me a hand?

The bathroom sales guy, who is helping us formulate the fashionable but appropriate new room, is quite a serious gentleman. He didn’t laugh at all when I requested that the shower be big enough for both myself and my potential future female Brazilian carer. What’s wrong with that? Jean didn’t bat an eye lid.

As a result of my recent posts regarding house modifications, in particular the bathroom, I have been receiving comments from readers and fellow folk with MND. I am slightly concerned because I have been sent photos of bidets etc. Am I being groomed to send photographs of me using said facilities? You have to be so careful, readers. Does anyone know how I can safely install a bidet camera (as requested by one reader)? I am having trouble getting it to focus?!

After the bathroom centre we went into the M&S foodhall. Pushing a shopping trolley is one of life’s joys now. As I enter a store, the row of carts (as my American friends call them) are like a honey pot to a bee!! “Come to me oh glorious trolley“. However, they do need to add brakes!? As a temporary bypass, until the store introduces brakes on their carts, I have developed a sort of “You need to move out of my way, now!” look.

Actually, pushing a shopping trolley reminds me of a story over 25 years ago. Yes there were shops and cars back then kids!

Back then, I used to pick Jean up after work on a Wednesday and we went to the supermarket. As always, my brain was still in work mode and there were many tasks flying through my head. I took charge of the trolley and started to walk up and down the aisles as Jean put items in. After traversing about 5 rows, Jean looked at me and our trolley in shock and amazement! It was full of nappies and other baby stuff! (We didn’t have a baby then). It was NOT our trolley! I was so distracted by work thoughts that somewhere in a previous aisle I must have gone into autopilot and started to push someone else’s trolley. Scream! We just abandoned the said trolley and started again!! I still have visions of a frantic mother crying and breaking down in front of shop staff with a trolley load of stuff that reminded her of her pre-baby life – “My trolley, it was there, arggggh, baby brain, I can’t cope!!!”

I return to bathrooms.  We stayed over at a friend’s recently, and we examined in detail their lovely posh and spacious bathroom. It’s like we are now bathroom freaks and stalkers. That cunning, but bungling, Inspector Braggeau spotted something. I do think my friend’s concern about his good lady potentially having a liaison with the local window cleaner may have some truth behind it. I show the evidence!


I would ask questions my friend!!! The ladder, bucket and rather soapy sponge were also very suspicious!

Whilst out on my trike, I am often thinking about the subject of the day. This week, as well as the bathroom changes, we do need a new gas boiler installed. I have already received quotes, and was thinking about getting a local recommendation as well. As I was considering this, I noticed a rather posh plumber’s van in the driveway of a friend. I thought, “Hey, I might ask her about him??” Then I thought, “What if the plumber was not doing plumbing?!” I decided to phone another company! What is my brain like? I just don’t want to cause trouble.

Right, that’s it for this week folks. On the subject of detective work, I am just completing my latest view on MND research progress post (which of course has been fully vetted and does not suffer from the same issues as my weekly post). It should be out on Sunday (tomorrow)! So 2 posts this week.

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One Comment

  1. jaynehalhead says:

    Your diary of daily adventures (or misadventures!) living life with MND are always illuminating, Lee (or Sponge Blog Square Pants as I’ve now christened you, due to your current bathroom obsession!). Laughter is definitely the best medicine. You’re an inspiration my friend.

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