It Ain’t Half Cold Mum – “SHUT UP!!!!”

Good afternoon readers! A bumper edition this week. Better grab a coffee, and tell ya wife to get your slippers! Sorry that was Lord Lee Bragg! “Get out, I have decent folk here!

Last weekend, Jean and I were invited to visit a very very special place. One of the auction prizes in my June MNDA fund raiser was a trip to the Explosive Ordinance Disposal Team of the Ministry of Defence! Many thanks to the Commanding Officer, Lt Col Lyndon Robinson for extending the welcome to my wife and I, as well as the kind winning bidders, Graham and Jon. That’s Jon from the Sid James Experience!

Here we are! We do look like a bad scene from “Only fools and horses!” Is that Lord Lee holding my rollator? So typical of him, jumping in whilst I was stuck behind a missile!

One of the star attractions was a selfie with the most powerful non-atomic bomb used in the Second World War, the Barnes Wallis Grand Slam bomb!

It was a bit of a cold day, and yes my mobility was challenging, but my super rollator got me to places that walking unaided are just not possible now. Thanks Jon, for guiding me over the rubble, and I apologise for having the brakes on! (snigger snigger)

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However, the real stars are the men and women of the MOD base who are trained to defuse bombs all over the world. We should be justifiably proud that here in the UK we have the world leaders. Country delegations come from all over the world to learn from our incredible trainers. Their courage is simply breathtaking. Listening to some of the stories and the sort of situations now encountered left us all in no doubt that their services are vital in an ever-changing world of security threats. In fact, it was the very real new threats that really resonated with me during the tour of their training centre.

Unfortunately, Lord Lee Bragg also sneaked in. Here he is with the Commanding officer, Lyndon, after selling him one of his low mileage,  one careful Lady owner, 1992 Ford Fiestas! He also managed to sell a Bragg’s extended warranty! What a salesman! Kids, you can learn from Lord Lee.

img_1163For those of you in the UK, and of a certain age, we all know that one of the reasons we have such a leading team is the brutal history experienced in Northern Ireland. Here is one of the essential tools of the trade, what is known as a wheelbarrow. A wheelbarrow is designed to remotely diffuse and make safe threats. The very first version was built on a borrowed wheelchair! I am not sure what state it was returned in, but a good tip guys, always lock your wheelchairs!

Here I am with the current MK7a, an awesome piece of technology. I was a bit concerned when they placed a sign saying MK8 on my rollator and was told to walk towards a discarded Gucci handbag! I wish that blooming Beyoncé would take care of her possessions!

The day was rounded off with a lovely meal in the Officers’ mess and the thoroughly entertaining company of our hosts.

Oh, my post’s title? It is a tribute to the one and only Windsor Davies and his character Battery Sgt Major Williams in “It Ain’t Half Hot Mum” a classic British comedy series of the 1970’s. Entirely politically incorrect, but totally harmless and very very funny. Those of you who are not upset by the slightest thing, please enjoy this snippet I have found and chosen specially for you on YouTube. This may not go down well with some of the Snowflake generation. You have been warned!

So if you do wanna complain, remember Lord Lee and his job on the complaints line this year!? This is from my “Keeping close to the line post” earlier this year.

What else has happened this week? Ooooh, I was reading our local Parish magazine. The letters section has stirred me to write a letter to the Council in response to the tone of one letter! I am definitely becoming an angry man! Just deciding whether I should get Lord Lee to write it or do myself! I will spare them Lord Lee, and just author alone.

On Thursday we had some roofing work done. We have a section of lead roof and it needed replacing due to the start of a leak. Best nip these things in the bud, so to speak.

Choosing any tradesman is always best by recommendation, as you hear so many bad stories. We know a great roofer locally who basically ticks all the boxes. Skilled, reliable and friendly. He also passed the ultimate test, ie he is an Arsenal fan! So we have endless stories of disappointment and depression that we can share!

Anyway, he came round Tuesday to recheck access and dimensions saying he would return Thursday to complete the work. However,  he would have to go to the church first though. Funny that, he’s not religious as far as I know. But hey, surely that’s a good sign?

My knee is still looking like someone has stuffed a tennis ball in my kneecap! Whilst at my physio on Tuesday, the England Rugby team masseur popped in and took a look! Yes I know name dropping, but true. He said, get it needled! A couple of the team have had knees like this, and they get them aspirated, wrapped up and then play! I might just do that next week, but I am being a bit reserved. In addition, unless anyone knows any better I am not playing for England at the weekend?!  But it does look like I might have to have a syringe shoved in. If so, tune into next week’s special horror edition of onein400!

I mentioned last week about our plan for a through floor lift. Well, obviously these things are not cheap, so of course I am investigating the world of grants to help. What a convoluted world we live in, but there are ways of getting help. In the UK we have what is known as a Disabled Facilities Grant. Of course it has a rather interesting process, and I will keep you updated as I traverse the wonderful world of local council business!

This week in Dublin, Ireland, the yearly ALS (MND) Symposium has taken place. Over a thousand researchers, health professionals and patients attended. The latest research, updates and best practices are being shared. For those of you interested, you can watch the “Ask the experts session” of the pre-conference. This session is 2 hours long,  consisting of 4 sections

1) What is the current pipeline of new drugs? – We desperately need new drugs as we have nothing effective currently. This was a good and precise section.

2) Stem cell research – this was an interesting and effectively brutal reality check on this subject. There is so much “press and media” hype regarding stem cells so it is important that factual information is shared. Just for your information, there are only 3 proven, approved and effective stem cell therapies worldwide for any disease! These are cornea (eye), skin graft, and several blood cancers.

3) ProjectMinE – genetics update. This is the area of most interest to me, and if I may dare give my opinion, where the real secrets will be found in the coming years.

4) A panel discussion – Very interesting and enlightening.

I end with two things. Don’t forget my Christmas fund raiser!

Secondly at the end of a Military themed week, I decided to strip down our Dyson vacuum to completely clean it. It’s what I do these days! Anyway, I was really into it, regimented and structured. I was following the precise and detailed instructions. All was good and then the home phone rang!!

Good Morning Mr Lee Millard?

Yes, ”tis me

I understand you had a car accident and might be able to clai………...”

SHUT UP!!!!!!

That got rid of them! Lord Bragg is very helpful in such situations!

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